Best 2389 quotes in «comedy quotes» category

My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

My sense of stand up comedy would be so esoteric.

My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.

My style of comedy is very real and bittersweet, and sort of always on the verge of kind of being tragic.

Natural Born Killers is really a misunderstood romantic comedy.

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

My theory is, if you can do comedy and you can be in a scene with someone like Brad Garrett and hold your own, you've really got a future in this business.

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end'. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

Nate Silver is now forecasting Oscar winners. The only area of life in which he has no expertise, ironically, is life itself.

Never really intended to be a comedian, just sort of fell into that, but always wanted to be in show business, or something to do with making comedy.

Next up [new TV stars] was [Dean] Martin and [Jerry] Lewis on 'The Colgate Comedy Hour.'

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

NBC gives comedies a chance to find their legs.

Nobody should try to play comedy unless they have a circus going on inside.

Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro.

Nobody is here without a reason. I always had a different sensibility. I like a huge range of comedy - from broad and farcical, the most sensitive, the most understated - but I always wanted my comedy to be more embracing of the species rather than debasing of it.

No one can disgrace us but ourselves.

Nobody wants to see sketch comedy that's the same sketch they've seen time and time again, or that's just a rehash of that thing.

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.

No comedy should be longer than 90 minutes. There's no such thing as a good long joke.

Nothing translates worse than comedy into the printed word.

Nostalgia is heroin for old people.

Of course, the surest way to free yourself from an existential crisis is through comedy.

Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.

Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory.

Nothing is set up like a comedy bit. I did sitcoms for 10 years. Literally from 1989 to 1999. That's almost all I did. Whenever I got away from television I was like, "Phew, thank God that's over. I am never going back.

Of course the chronology of the books is a bit back- to - front, and books usually come out before movies. But happily, these [Bridget Jones's] are fictional comedy diaries - not a history of the Battle of Waterloo.

One always writes comedy at the moment of deepest hysteria.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

On a practical level, I'm uncomfortable at comedy clubs because there are so many shitty dude comics who have made my life miserable. If I go to a comedy club and I look around, I don't know which of the dudes lining the wall told me that I was too fat to get raped. It makes me nauseous. But that was a couple years ago, and meanwhile, comedy has changed a lot.

One night I attended a Laughing Liberally comedy show. There was one funny comedian there - Lee Camp.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One of the coolest things was that, in 2007, I got to go to Iraq with Rob Riggle, Paul Scheer, and Horatio Sanz. We went over there to do some comedy shows with the U.S.O.

One of my favorite comedies is Three Amigos! Oh my gosh, me and my brother quote that all the time.

One of my favorite films is 'Dumb and Dumber.' I'd love to do some really silly comedy someday.

One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger.

One of the great things with comedy is that there's no such thing as a mediocre comedy; it's either uproarious or crap. That's the problem.

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.

One of the things that we love most about our comedy [ American Reunion] is that it goes all-out.

One of the wonderful things about Portlandia - and I'm not just blowing smoke, although I can blow smoke, but I'm not - is that there is an expansive feeling to each segment. It's not reductive. It doesn't seem like sketch comedy.

One does not contradict the other.Straight-faced is the basis of all decent comedy.

One thing I'm a big fan of is the theater of the absurd. That's what I come from, that's what I love to do more than anything. What I love about absurdity is the words "comedy" and "drama" get thrown out the window and it's just life, which is absurd.

Only in America could you get away with the kind of comedy I did.

One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I've always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.

One reason [of Andy Griffith Show popularity] is because of the formula. It had comedy, but it also had tender moments. The other reason is because it was therapeutic. It helped people relax and unwind.

On these feature films there are people on the staff who can draw 100 times better then I can, and animate better then I can, and light better then I can, write comedy better then I can. I basically am in the middle of kind of a creative typhoon and I'm just kind of talking the film up on to the screen. Minute to minute, meeting by meeting, day by day.

On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed.

Only really good comedies and really good horror movies get a verbal response out of the audience. People will scream. People will laugh.