Best 315 quotes of Frank Zappa on MyQuotes

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

A composer's job involves the decoration of fragments of time.

Actually, I don't get to do it (watch 5 or so news shows) every day, but I manage to do it at least 5 times a week. And the rest of the time I'm doing interviews. I do an amazing amount of interviews.

A drug is neither moral nor immoral - it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary license to act like an asshole.

All that we got here is American made. It's a little bit cheesy, but it's nicely displayed.

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff...Basically what people want to hear is: I love you, you love me, the leaves turn brown, they fell off the trees, the wind is blowing, it got cold, you went away, my heart broke, you came back, and my heart was okay...Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make records for people who can't hear. Most people wouldn't know good music if it came up and bit them on the ass...If lyrics make people do things, how come we don't love each other?

All the old history was written for the amusement of the ruling classes. The lower classes couldn't read, and their rulers didn't care about remembering what happened to them.

Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the test, usually find it to be an 'inconvenience.' We have opted instead for an authoritarian system disguised as a Democracy. We pay through the nose for an enormous joke-of-a-government, let it push us around, and then wonder how all those assholes got in there.

America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements that came over on the Mayflower. Ignorant, religious fanatics who land here and abuse the Indians.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

Anybody hear the great news, today? Jimmy Swaggart under investigation! Oh Ja-eezus! One day every one of those cocksuckers will get caught! I understand in the case of Mr. Swaggart, that he claims that it was not multiple encounters with many prostitutes - apparently, only one sweet young thing. And he did tell Cal Thomas of the Moral Majority that the sex act itself was not fully consumated. However he did admit to doing something por-no-graphic with the girl. Let's use our imaginations, ladies and gentlemen.

Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned--I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture, or necrodestination.

Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous.

Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All (or AAAFNRAA)

Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement.

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.

As far as rearing children goes, the basic idea I try to keep in mind is that a child is a person. Just because they happen to be a little shorter than you doesn't mean they are dumber than you.

Asked random questions about the First Amendment and how they would like to have it applied, if you believe in polls at all, the average American wants no part of it. But if you ask, 'What if we threw the Constitution away tomorrow?' the answer is 'No, that would be bad!' But living under the Constitution is another story altogether.

As long as you're just smart enough to do a job and just dumb enough to swallow what they feed you, you're gonna be alright. But if you go beyond that then you're gonna have these grave doubts that give you stomach problems, headachesmake you want to go out and do something else. So, I believe that schools mechanically and very specifically try and breed out any hint of creative thought in the kids that are coming out.

A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment.

Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality.

Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality. Freedom of speech, freedom of religious thought, and the right to due process for composers, performers and retailers are imperiled if the PMRC and the major labels consummate this nasty bargain.

. . . behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government.

Being interviewed is one of the most abnormal things that you can do to somebody else. It's two steps removed from the Inquisition.

Believe it or not, there are places in the world where music is important. There are places in the world where all the arts are a matter of national pride.

Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.

Bobby Martin has another project. He's building a house. He's out there at 6 o'clock in the morning hammering nails.

Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet.

Brown shoes don't make it.

Call any vegetable and the chances are good that the vegetable will respond to you.

Catholic girls with tiny little mustaches.

Censoring what you say is one of the ways in which people who are not nice can take away your personal freedom.

Certification from one source or another seems to be the most important thing to people all over the world. A piece of paper from a school that says you're smart, a pat on the head from your parents that says you're good or some reinforcement from your peers that makes you think what you're doing is worthwhile. People are just waiting around to get certified.

Children are naive-they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but, if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you're asking for trouble.

Classical musicians go to the conservatories, rock´n roll musicians go to the garages.

Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago.

Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose decay.

Conducting" is when you draw "designs" in the nowhere-with a stick, or with your hands-which are interpreted as "instructional messages" by guys wearing bow ties who wish they were fishing.

Decades of indoctrination, manipulation, censorship and KGB excursions haven't altered this fact: People want a piece of their own little Something-or-Other, and, if they don't get it, have a tendency to initiate counterrevolution.

Did he really choose Tammy to do his work?

Did you ever consider that LSD was really one of the most dangerous drugs ever manufactured because the people who took it turned into yuppies?

Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands.

Disco satisfied social as well as musical needs. Disco people got to dress up all the time and go to places ... where everybody sort of 'looked good' - and later, after an evening of chemical alteration, everybody looked even better, and the next thing they knew, they were getting The Blox Job. Punk, in the late seventies, purported to be a rebellion against this sort of silly behavior. Maniac bands started thrashing away in dingy little places with no decor, developing their own silly behavior. ... New wave evolved from punk, basically, by sterilizing its own safety pin.

Don't do speed, speed turns you in to your parents.

Don't eat the yellow snow.

Don't forget to vote.

Don't go to bed with any woman crazier than you are.

Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.

Do your job and do it right, life's a ball, TV tonight.

Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut.