Best 3653 quotes in «humorous quotes» category

The whole imposing edifice of modern medicine is like the celebrated tower of Pisa - slightly off balance.

The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.

The wicked at heart probably know something.

...the wonderful poems interpreting with equal magic the romance of strange lands and times, or the modern soul, naked and unashamed, as if clothed in its own complexity; the humorous-tragic questionings of the universe; the delicious travel-pictures and fantasies; the lucid criticisms of art, and politics, and philosophy, informed with malicious wisdom, shimmering with poetry and wit.

The worse you are at thinking, the better you are at drinking.

They didn't trademark everything back then. Now someone farts and they put a TM after it. Even Miller Lite says 'A Fine Pilsner Beer' on the label. It is a crime.

[They let] friendship with the leaders in China obscure our devotion to freedom and democracy when those kids set up in Tiananmen Square, and I think it was wrong.

They have a lot of trouble with pronunciation, because they can't move their jaw muscles, because of malnutrition caused by wisely refusing to eat English food, much of which was designed and manufactured in medieval times during the reign of King Walter the Mildly Disturbed.

They mention that it's a nonstop flight. Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old fashioned, but I insist that my flight stop. Preferably at an airport.

They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.

This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream.

This act will leave a moral blot on his presidency

This (America) is a land of rich diversity, from the towering skyscrapers of Manhatan all the way to the towering mounds of garbage piled up next to the towering skyscrapers of Manhattan.

This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.

This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.

Though she doesn't remember any trauma, she said that her parents told her she cried on a daily basis and her grandmother resorted to passing out candy so the kids would play with her. Though it was a humorous moment, Mila said, "I know, God bless her. She's an amazing, amazing woman.

Thou slave, thou wretch, thou coward! Thou little valiant, great in villainy! Thou ever strong upon the stronger side! Thou Fortune's champion, that dost never fight But where her humorous ladyship is by To teach thee safety.

Throughout my career, I've always portrayed characters that were humorous, but also weren't afraid to speak their minds, especially when it came to racy or controversial topics. I think this struck a chord with the LGBT community. We both also share a very strong love for animals. When you combine the two, it's a very strong match.

Time is a circus, always packing up and moving away.

The world is an infinitely fascinating, tragic and humorous place.

This book fills a much-needed gap.

This (French-Kissing) is a really sexy thing to do, according to the French people, although you should bear in mind that they also like to eat snails.

This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.

This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie.

This nation is so friendly that the leading cause of injury is getting passionately embraced by strangers.

This shirt is "dry-clean only"... Which means it's dirty.

This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which they will be fed an estimated total of four peanuts.

Though philosophers like to define poetry as irrational fancy, for us it is practical, humorous, reasonable way of being ourselves.

Throughout most of my life, I raised tobacco. I want you to know that my own hands, all of my life, I put in the plant beds and transferred it! I hoed it! I've dug in it! I've sprayed it! I've chopped it! I've shredded it, spiked it, put it in the barn and stripped it and sold it!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

'Tis a good thing to laugh at any rate; and if a straw can tickle a man, it is an instrument of happiness.

To advertisers: "Do not compete with your agency in the creative area. Why keep a dog and bark yourself?

To be ignorant of one's ignorance is the malady of the ignorant.

Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

To go into acting is like asking for admission to an insane asylum. Anyone may apply, but only the certifiably insane are admitted.

To be a colored man in America ... and enjoy it, you must be greatly daring, greatly stolid, greatly humorous and greatly sensitive. And at all times a philosopher.

Tokyo is huge. Something like 15 million people live there, and my estimate is that at any given moment, 14.7 million of them are lost.

To me, an airplane is a great place to diet.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?

True humor is fun - it does not put down, kid, or mock. It makes people feel wonderful, not separate, different, and cut off. True humor has beneath it the understanding that we are all in this together.

Turn your melodrama into a mellow drama.This is quotes copyright © By Pumpkin Limited

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Today's parents grew up with the silly notion that music was meant to be heard.

Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.

To me, fast food is when a cheetah eats an antelope.

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.